True Femininity

What does true femininity mean? Many may point out a sensual woman, an actress like Sophia Loren or Marilyn Monroe. A woman who is curvy, voluptous and carries it well. One of my personal favorites is Jennifer Love Hewett - very feminine indeed. Femininity however goes truly beyong looks and an hour-glass figure. And then of course we have those that are so screwed up that they think anorexia is feminine (see photo below).

True femininity as in the opposite of masculinity, however, is something completely different all together. We all feature mascule and feminine sides and attributes, as it should be. And as a society we try to figure out what the "male species" and the "female species" is all about.

In Feng Shui things that are pointed or cornered are always male. Things that are round or wavy are always feminine. It's pretty simple and straight forward.

David Deida describes it this way: "If a man has a masculine sexual essence, then his priority is his mission, his direction towards the greater release, freedom, and consciousness. If a woman has a feminine sexual essence, then her priority is the flow of love in her life, including her relationship with a man whom she can totally trust, in body, emotion, mind, and spirit."

He goes on saying: "Your woman's core is fulfilled by love. Your core (the man's core) is released from stress by aligning your life with your mission. To you, intimacy is something to be enjoyed in addition to your purpose. To your woman, intimacy is at the core of her life, and the tone of your intimacy colors everything else she does."

"You (the man) are lodged in the heart of your woman. She feels you all day. She senses where you are at. Feeling-threads from her heart are connected to your heart, day and night. You are not replaceable in her perception."

He continues saying: "Without a deep and loving intimacy - with you or with the divine - she hurts. It will never work for her to try to quell the pain by absorbing herself in her career, her art, or her friends. If she has a feminine essence, she must honor herself by owning her deep desire for the flow of love in her heart, just as a person with a masculine essence must honor his or her direction in order to be truly happy."

And my favorite part saying it in plain English: "If one of your highest goals is psychological or spiritual reedom, then you will highly value your intimacy. Nobody will press your buttons or reflect your asshole to you better than your woman. She will point out your weaknesses better than a boot camp drill sergeant. She will reflect your ambiguity or clarity better than any workshop teacher. She will do you better than a whore and give you more loving than you can handle. And all the while she will shower your life with radiant blessing, healing, and enlivenment - if she learns to own her true feminine desires and you learn to own your true masculine desires."

I can't add to these words because they speak so true of how differently men and women function. Granted, we all have masculine and feminine tendencies. There is a core in each of us, however. And for me as a woman, my core needs to be "all woman." A difficult task for me because my Dad wished I was born a boy. He treated me like a boy most of my childhood and I didn't accept that I was a girl until I was 10 years old, long after I was enrolled in soccer, rugby, ice hockey and I came home dirty every night trying to catch frogs and crickets with the boys. I was a tomboy to say the least.

Femininity is new to me. Well, shall I say it's a new realization for me. It obviously has always been there (no sex change here, I'm all woman indeed). And at times I realize how powerful this feminine source is and I'm learning slowly but surely to stay in the feminine rather than hopping over to the masculine where it's much more comfortable (because it's so much simpler).

The masculine is black or white, up or down, yes or no - not much drama here.

The feminine seems to flow left, right, up, down, inside and out - how couldn't anyone get confused with all these directions! No wonder men are confused and never know what to expect!

So while I am waiting for you, my beloved Twin Soul, I shall have a lot of work to do finding my comfort zone in this wild, wild country of femininity. I may get lost from time to time, but I vow to continually work on becoming more feminine, and all the woman that I have come to be. Be it in the form of the make-up and clothes or wear (I just bought a pair of red high heels, my first I admit), or in the way I yield to a man's leadership because I understand and accept that this is his purpose.

Frankly, I'm tired and exhausted of looking like a woman, having a career like a masculine woman, wearing the pants in every situation and being a mother and father all at the same time. I long to be fragile, to nestle into your Being and to be able to surrender to you with my full confidence and trust.

It's time for us to be together and I am ready for you to come home...