When Your Heart Deceives You

Most of us have heard the scripture: "The heart is deceitful above all things."

How often (or not) has someone come along and you were sure that this must be "the one," only for you to find out that your heart was playing tricks on you. We are a gullible people, most of us, because that little void within us all is reserved for that one special person who is the only one to fill that void. And how we long to fill that void; so when love hits us, or at least we think it's love, then of course we want that person to be "the one," the one to fill the void, the one to call us home, the one to help us rest in timeless suspension.

But what if the person you thought was "the one" is only another relationship to prepare you for the real deal? How will you know that this was not the one?

It would be nice to be awake and conscious enough to "get it" right away. Because Life knows the signs and symbols and red flags are all there right from the get-go. What's in the way are those pink glasses we seem to see everything through. It's as if we have to get hurt over and over again until those glasses get knocked off and we can see clearly again that we get back on the right track.

Here is a simple rule of thumb to knowing if the person you're dealing with is "the one" or just another relationship in preparation of "the one."

If s/he does something and you express that this hurts you, and s/he continues to do them - s/he is NOT the one. No matter what the circumstances, no matter the excuses, no matter the plan, your beloved Twin Soul simply doesn't have it in him or her to hurt you because in doing so, s/he would only hurt him/herself, which would contradict his or her very essence.

Above all, love yourself with dignity, integrity, unconditionally and be gentle with yourself. Don't hurt yourself and certainly don't let anyone else hurt you either. Love should never hurt even for a split second but should be a stronghold for people to come to for nourishment and safety.

Ask and You Shall Receive

Waiting and preparing a space for our Twin Soul takes energy, effort and a tremendous amount of desire. As everything goes and comes in cycles and rhythms, I too can feel the rhythms of desire for him stronger at times, and weaker at other times. Life gets in the way and distratctions serve to lead me off the path of wanting and desiring to be with my Twin Soul. Perhaps others feel the same as they go about life. Before you know it, evening time is here, it's dark and you feel like retracting, cuddling up on the coach while reading a book and sipping on tea. Then you realize that the bulk of your day went to your employer to making him or her wealthy, and little was done to build your own character and focus on your life instead. The same goes for just another year that has passed. Think about it, we're about to close off 2008. Another year where our Twin Soul has delayed...

So how can we foster and nurture this desire deep within? I often go to Walter Russell's books, and especially to the Divine Iliad, where it states:

"Seek ye, therefore, what ye will in Me and ye shall find it."

"But sit ye not and ask, acting not, for thy desire will not come to thee unaided by thine own strong arms."

I love the analogy of a seasaw. The fulcrum is the power, the desire is in the children wanting to make the seasaw swing. Nothing happens until the two children give it a go (and they put action behind their desire). The actual power of the seasaw, however, is in the fulcrum, the place that remains still. So it is with God and our desire. God (or Light) is our still fulcrum from where we get all of our power and inspiration and even a roadmap of how to make our desires a reality. So the power is here, we are co-creators with God to create ANYTHING we so desire. And yet, nothing happens if I don't back up my desire and take advantage of the power given me, and I don't bring to fruition the desire by the actions I take.

"What actions can I take to bring this Twin Soul into my life?" you might ask.

It's really simple. Live as if s/he is already in your life, pretend that s/he is already there living with you, coming home to you every day, and before you know it, s/he will be there. Prepare your place of living as if your Twin Soul is coming home every night, make it pleasant, inviting and romantic, make it sacred and holy and keep it that way. Don't meddle with "friends with benefits" just to "hold you over." Doing so will only keep him or her from coming to you. Keep your place sacred, keep your heart and your soul sacred by tuning into him or her frequently throughout the day. Write cards and letters, especially now during the holidays and Valentine's day is just around the corner. Date them and put them in a special box for when you can hand them over in real life. Put energy into your relationship "as if" your Twin Soul is already here.

Walk about your day with him/her by your side (energetically speaking). When you think about him or her, smile, let others see that you're in love with your Twin Soul. That you're taken and occupied by a special love that only you and your Twin Soul can complete. BELIEVE that s/he exists at this time. It's only a matter of time until you see his or her face...

Happy Birthday Wishes

I am elated that after 46 birthdays, our paths finally cross to celebrate your 47th. In many ways I feel as though it’s my birthday today too. Perhaps we’re blessed enough to celebrate your next 46 birthdays together.

I have felt the honor of having been in your presence these past few months, having watched you change and grow in a direction that is calling me higher as a woman. You’ve allowed me to surrender to my feminine. When I get scared you step in and hold my soul, allowing me to feel safe in my “weak” and vulnerable space. You have allowed me to feel ways that I have never felt before. Feelings that go beyond ecstasy and reach past the edges of the Universe. With you I feel as though we visit a time and place in the big nowhere, where time and space disappear and we rest in suspension. No matter what the future holds, I thank you for the glimpses of heaven...

Thank you for the path you are taking and for having chosen to walk a bit of this life journey with me. When thinking of the perfect gift to give to the man who has brought out the most feminine in me, I have to admit that no worldly gift will ever come close enough to express my gratitude.

You can wish for anything you want. I anchor and bless all of your wishes of light and pray that you would seize the opportunity for manifesting whatever it is you want. I wish you strength and courage to go after your dreams; tenacity and endurance to keep going when things get tough; pure vision and hearing to see beyond these earthly borders; love, compassion, kindness and humility to always give gifts of heaven to others; strength of character to protect and nurture your dreams; understanding and detachment so not to control the menial and faith and trust to know that everything is always as it should be…

I wish that all of your ideals, dreams and wishes will manifest in the most peaceful and fun ways.

Happy Birthday!

A Prayer for Me (and all Women)

Like the trees of our world - I shall surrender, be, remain solid and steady, beautiful, lush, full of colors, carry fruits, flowers and leafs, with roots as deep as the earth, spreading from within, upward to heaven, outward as if to hug the world, providing shelter and shade to those who come, and safety, yet never holding on to anything or anyone, not even her own fruit and leafs. Never chasing my husband, the wind, but letting him come to me...Never to get his job and my job confused; let him chase after me and ruffle my leafs and shake my branches so my fruit can fall, die and multiply. It's my job to sway according to the strength and guidance of his leadership, whether he sways me hard or gently - my job is to be led by him, to never refuse his leadership, his pressure, his gentleness, and not to hold on to him, complain about this leadership or to try to lead him in another direction than where he wants to go. I am working on me, my strength, my flexibility and limberness, my yielding, my surrender. And in due time and when he is ready, he shall return.

Women and Trees and the Wind

And my quest for my Twin Soul continues, and so do the lessons. I had mentioned that one of my requests to the Universe is the gift of detachment, of letting go and giving up control. It's a tall order and a powerful request and already I am being given opportunities to practice detachment (perhaps more than I bargained for).

Today I talked to a friend and out came the words: "I've let go of the outcome and am just moving on and forward with my life." I am realizing that I think and say these words more than I ever have, and it's because detachment from things and people, even life itself, is very dear to my heart. Above all I want peace and freedom. Most might ask what the heck is wrong with me wanting to let go of life and people and circumstances. The truth is that our bodies and this life doesn't really exist on the same plane as does our light source from which we came from and to which we are returning to. In other words, this life and everything you see is an illusion serving the great divine purpose for us to get reunited at the mountain top. I want to get to that mountain top rather than lingering here in the jungle, walking this evolutionary journey as a non-conscious individual being. I'm part of the whole, a fragment of you, if you will.

Giving up control to any outcome is a scary thing because after all, it's kind of what we're all about on this worldly plane. We start companies to have success, not to "let go of the outcome." We start relationships so we can "hold on" to the partnership. We exercise so we can be healthy, not so we can let go of health. It's a tricky thing to explain what I mean by "detachment." But I shall give it a try nonetheless.

A tree is feminine, with roots deep and wide into the soil, holding her down, letting her stand straight and firm. The wind is male, and comes to ruffle her leaves on a daily basis. Sometimes harder than other times. We've never seen a tree's branches reach out and trying to grab on to the wind, kind of like saying: "You stay here, I'm not gonna let you go!" It doesn't work this way in nature. Feminine and masculine work together in unison and synchronicity, and exclusive trust that can only be described as divine. Yet in relationships and life in general, we refuse to "let go" of the order of things, we want to hold back people because we want them in our lives.

The clearest example is that of funerals. Most people cry because they have lost a person. In there lies the key, THEY have lost the person. They cry for selfish reasons really. Because most people don't have a clue of where the deceased person is or how that person is "feeling" on the other plane. In other words, we have a hard time letting go even of death. We refuse to work with Life and accept life and death as an inseparable team. We love life, we hate death. It's when we get to love both the same that we have made major strides to walking a higher evolutionary journey. This also includes letting go of peope who are not meant to be in our lives, as friends, family members or our life partners.

As a woman who wants to learn how to detach myself from the outcome of finding and reuniting with my Twin Soul I have to look to Nature to finding the examples there. I certainly can't look in any magazine to tell me how I should be as a woman, I would miserably fail. Nature has something down that we as humans seem to screw up because we interfere too much with our egos, rather than living from within. With our male and analytical brain we overrule the deep and mysterious, only to find that we become jagged and hard and stubborn. As a woman, however, I am dedicated to being "all woman" through and through. And it's one of the easiest and also one of the hardest things I've ever done.

I am not physically attached to my Twin Soul like Siamese Twins are, and so I walk as a seeming separate being, seemingly responsible for just myself, working and earning money (masculine side) and walking my evolutionary path dedicated to "going home" to our light source (feminine quality). And yet, energetically speaking I am very much attached and united with my Twin Soul, even though he's not occupying my physical space as of yet. So it's about bridging the gap between now and then, and doing so in the truest sense of my essence, which is feminine.

As a single woman I have a responsibility to my Twin Soul to work on my femininity, not to foster and grow his masculine essence. In doing so I would only keep him farther apart. The question is, how can I as a stand-alone and single woman treasure and increase my feminine essence, the round aspect of my being, and prepare a space for his arrival while still taking care of "his functions" while I living life?

This post may be confusing to some, because it may not make sense to you, and that's okay. It will make sense to my Twin Soul. I am dedicated to working on my feminine essence, on being like a solid tree, letting you ruffle my leaves with your gentle caresses, while standing strong in Mother Earth, and allowing you to fully penetrate my every branch and leaf with your soft massaging attempts to wow me.

I may need more help in the surrendering process than I'd like to admit. So I am putting it out there into the Universe: please forgive me if I take over leadership, if I tell you how to walk your path and how to pave our journey ahead of us. It's not my job, I am fully aware. My job is to BE, your job is to DO. When I fail, know that I long to "just be" and that perhaps I take over your responsibilities because I don't see your actions keeping us safe. I may push and test you unconsciously, to see if you'll break. Because if you falter and crumble and shrivel under my pushing, the world certainly will crush you. Above all I want to BE, just BE, and I can only BE and detach and surrender to you completely, if I know that you will not let us be crushed by the world. So please stand up to me. When I push don't falter but open me up to your love instead. MAKE ME trust you by lovingly opening me to your leadership. The sun and wind are your teachers (and mine) and the moon and trees are mine (and yours). Above all, lead me with actions more than with your words...

The Wish List Game

If you watched my "Saying Good Bye" movie (to the left) then you've seen a grocery cart full of wrapped gifts with the sub title: "Place your request with the Universe. Give gifts of Heaven and the World shall be yours."

I heard an amazing story a long time ago, it stuck with me and from it I came up with the Wish List Game. The story goes like this:

Imagine yourself being welcomed by your angel as you arrive in heaven. "Follow me, I'll show you to your room," said your angel. You follow this looooong hallway with doors to the left and right, all with names on them. Your angels stops in front of the door with your name on it. You open the door and inside is the biggest, most beautiful and most magnificent room you have ever seen. It is filled with wrapped gifts as far as as your eyes can see, from top to bottom, wrapped gifts everywhere. In the middle of the room you see a few gifts that had been unwrapped. "What are those," you ask your angel. "Those are the things you asked for, the wrapped gifts are the things you could have had, if you just had asked for them."

The moral of the story is that the Universe truly does want to bless us, we just need to ask for it.

You can play this game by yourself, with a pen and paper. Even better is playing with a friend who has the same understanding of the Universal powers as you do, a friend who loves you no matter what, who won't judge you if you're asking for the dumbest and smallest or weirdest things, because he or she knows there is no such things. This person has the power to anchor your gifts by not only holding your space for you, but by asking for the same gift as well.

Personally I think gifts that are given are ten-thousand times more gratifying than the gifts that we receive. If you're angry or hold grudges you may ask for gifts of being giving or the gift of forgiveness. So make sure you also ask for gifts that you can give to others. Such as kindness and mercy to others, forgiveness when a friend hurts you, etc. I call these gifts of heaven. Their the best kind.

I played this game with a friend this morning. We were on the phone for about 2 hours. Here is how it went. He made a wish and then I sealed it by saying: "Your wish is my command." You can also say "And you shall have it." All of the gifts we asked for were anchored by the other, so I would say: "Your wish is my command and I wish the same thing as well."

There are no rules except not to judge for whatever the other person is requesting and having tons of fun, laugh about it and FEEL the joy of the gift now as if it was already here. At one point I asked to always have the ability to fall in love with the tiniest, littlest thing, which is to keep me living in the Now. He anchored this by wishing that he wished to always see the uniqueness of a beautiful tree or notice a special rose that would stick out from all the other roses on the rosebush. There are no limits to this game. Get as detailed as you want (the more detailed the better).

Here is where it got interesting. After the most important or shall I say, most obvious gift requests, such as happiness, true love, health, wealth, friends of integrity, etc., we started to "run out of" things to ask for. We quickly realized why this room full of wrapped gifts only has a few unwrapped gifts in the middle. We just don't ask! We run out of things to ask because we think "it's too good to be true," or "I better not ask for too much so I won't get disappointed." Whatever the reason, we don't believe...

To demonstrate the power of this game, here is what happened to me within literally 30 minutes of hanging up with my friend. Here are 3 sample wishes that I had made throughout the course of these 2 hours:

1. I want to always enjoy smooth technology, computers, vehicles, no issues with roofs, plumbing and so on. I put this request out because my car just needed $2000 worth of repairs and was in the shop for 2.5 weeks, it had been stolen.

2. Another request was that I want to focus on detachment, letting go, not feeling the need to control every outcome but to enjoy peace and the silent knowing that everything always happens for a reason.

3. Another request was to enjoy enough money to always pay for what needs to be paid for and to enjoy a life style that would allow me to be free to be about purpose, go travel for 3 months or a year if I chose to. I asked for passive income in particular.

We really enjoyed this entire process, thanked each other for being the catalyst for each other's life dreams and then hung up the phone. I got in my gym clothes and jumped in the car only to find that my "check engine" light came on.

"You've gotta be kidding!" I told myself.

Ah! Remember I asked for smooth technology? I asked for working technology because I had just gone through this car ordeal. Do you think I was probably making this request more out of fear or out of peace?

So another request I had made was to exercise detachment, letting go, being at peace.

So I had a choice to make, would I take responsibility for having made the wish out of fear and then having an attitude about the "check engine" light or would I take the opportunity and give myself the gift of detachment, letting it go and enjoying peace knowing that dream number 3, having enough money would shortly follow thereafter?

Yes, I chose to let it go and be at peace about it. Some of you may be tempted to say that the bad always happens but the money to fix the car would probably be withheld. This happens when we get an attitude about it and thus we clip off the law of allowance, thus the Universe can't deliver the money because we are no longer in alignment with the gift of always having plenty (because we're now certain that the money will surely be withheld, the Universe has to bring you this new request instead and cancel out the old gift request).

And I realized that we are amazing creators - if we just believed, took some courage and truly went out to the edge and were bold to ask for whatever we want! It took 30 minutes for me to get the gift of detachment (and yes, it's an ongoing gift and I'm sure more opportunities to practice this gift are just around the corner).

The most important thing here is to ask out of love, not out of fear. But first, you must ask - THEN you will receive!

Happy Wish List Game everyone.

Sex, Purity and Twin Souls

I could talk and write for days about the science of what takes place when two people merge their bodies. A blog entry might not leave enough room to get to the real depth of the urgency and importance of keeping yourself and your union clean at any cost and at all times.

Sleeping around "while you're waiting" for the one only causes your loved one to stay away even longer. The energy of the people you're sleeping with "while you're waiting" is holding your beloved at bay. You may wonder how s/he can even know if you're not with them. Trust me, not everything you see is what it seems to be. In fact, everything you can see with your eyes in an illusion. This is a world of duality, there are "two lights" that seemingly create what we see with our human eyes. That's why we're told to open our inner eyes and inner ears. It's with those eyes and ears that we can see and hear the truth, not our truth, but THE truth. There is a piece of your soul that just "knows" intuitively. Your Twin Soul is not geared by what they see or feel, they just know... Just like you know that s/he is the one for you or not. You can't explain it, you just know. It's this knowing that is Universal knowledge, you can't fight it, or change it for that matter. Trust in it. You want him or her to come to you and wonder how come he hasn't arrived yet? In this post is your answer...

We were told (mainly through religious organizations) that it is "wrong" to have sex before marriage and we somehow are meant to believe that we're sluts and hores (if you're a woman) if you have sex before you're getting married, and you're a stud (the more you have sex) if you're a guy. The picture is twisted, misunderstood and only a handfull seem to truly understand what takes place when two people merge their bodies.

First, remember that humans are amongst the only species that have sex beyond the reason for multiplication. Most other species mate for the sole purpose of keeping the species alive. Keep this in mind.

So why do humans want to make love when they are in love with a person?

Plainly put, making love with another person while using our bodies is the highest form of expressing how much we want to literally become ONE with that person. The real reason for our wanting to merge is to "go home" to eternity, even if only for a moment in time. It's this "small moment in time" of utter and complete union in true and unconditional love that raises the vibration of the entire human race, provided the union is just that: pure, holy and sacred.



Unfortunately most people don't even know about this type of power yet between two people, let alone experience it in this life time, thus they use sex as a form of stress relief rather than what it was really meant to be.


The opposite is true as well. Two people who merge merely as a form of lust, stress release or even with malice in their hearts, achieve the exact opposite. The same goes if you're just "doing it" because it's become a habit. Not only are you feeling disgust, filth and dirt all over your soul, but the vibration of the entire human race gets reduced just a fraction.

You may say "that's a bunch of bull shit." And that's probably right for you, however, having read this your life will most likely never be the same. Somehow you were led to read this, your soul must have longed to hear it once again. There is nothing new here, it's all been inside of you for the awakening...

The best things in life can't be explained, they can't be paid for or worked for, they can't be achieved and they don't have to be won, they can't be taken and they can't be received. Making love with your Twin Soul is pure magic, it "just is" and it is the most sacred, most holy and most selfless act you can do for humanity - PROVIDED you do it with the one beloved Twin Soul.

So back to virginity and sleeping with people for the "wrong" reasons. The reason the bible talks about virginity is not because "God" is an evil entity that wants us to practice celebacy or refrain from recharging our batteries. On the contrary. We must recharge our batteries but consider this:

A tripple AAA battery gets hooked up with a double AA battery and we're trying to charge this piece of equipment. It simply won't work. What oscillates between the two batteries is different from each other. The piece of equipment won't get recharged and might perhaps even get destroyed, and the batteries will get drained nonetheless, having achieved absolutely nothing.


The same thing happens with two people that have no business of being together, neither physically nor in life. What oscillates in our very veins is life blood, or pure light source energy. Your frequency and vibration is completley different from mine. Finding your other half will reunite you with your own lifeblood and equal energy. Being with the wrong partner drains not only at least one of the partners, it will destroy, postpone and delay what you've come to this planet to do. Making love provides a few moments of time in space where time and space literally disappear. It's called the zero point where pure suspension from existence reign. It's the moment in time you feel like you're the other person, the other person is you, your bodies are one, you have no idea where his body starts and your ends, you don't know what time it is, if you're alive or dead, you don't even know what the difference is between life and death and you realize there is no difference, no separation. You are in absolute bliss.


You can only achieve this state of bliss with a true soul mate or Twin Soul.

Everything else is pure lust (and thus destructive, no matter how good it feels temporarily).

Let's look at the realistic and uncomfortable fact that many men like young women, preferrably virgins. Why is this so? Think about it. Virgins have an aura that is pure, untouched and untainted by other people's energy. Their clean and pure auric field promises these men to "take them home" to this blissful state. The "garbage," or shall I say baggage, and tainted negative energy of other men has not yet negatively colored these girls (yet).


On the other hand, take a prostitute. Many men refuse to be with a prostitute for this same reason. She's been tainted and used and possibly abused by the energy of so many men, many of whom are only interested in "busting a nut" or seeking relief for their stress levels. It's a most selfish act to say the least, and a most self-destructive one as well. A clean, strong and ethical and self secure man will abstain under any cost to be merged with someone of that type of auric field because he knows that merging with such a "battery" his own battery will not get recharged, it will get drained, which will cost him dearly in many other ways related to character.


So what if she's only giving you a blow job, you may wonder? It doesn't matter what the act is. Don't try to come up with every excuse you can think of to justify lust. Call it what it is. You are in a person's auric field the moment you lock eyes with them or stand close to them. You don't even have to touch them and you're energies merge. Intercourse certainly is like multiplying that energetic charge, it's like going 200 miles an hour, rather than just having started the car. Both, however, are acts of energy-exchanges.

Next time you think about making love with someone, make sure the person is your Twin Soul. If not, find ways to transmute your desire into your soon-to-arrive Twin Soul through meditation and allowing your flow of energy to go elsewhere, perhaps a good cause, exercise, writing, whatever allows you to recharge your battery in other, non-sexual ways.

Keep yourself pure, hold yourself in sacredness and holiness, because you deserve to be "clean" and prepared and untainted for the "one and only."