The Prison Within

Many years after his miraculous escape from prison, a tinsmith recounts what made his escape possible. His wife, a weaver, had woven the design of the lock to his prison cell ino the prayer rug upon which he prayed five times a day. Realizing that the prayer rug contained the design of his cell's lock, he struck a deal with his jailers to get tools to make small artifacts, which the jailers then sold and profited from. Meanwhile, he also used the tools to create a key to his cell, and one day made his escape.

The moral of the story is that understanding the design of the lock that keeps us imprisoned can help us create the key that will unlock it. It also describes the condition of most of humanity: imprisoned in the labyrinth of our own lives. At times of a crisis feelings such as inadequacy, deficiency, emptiness, lonliness and unhappiness, we may get some insight glimpse to our true confinement. The prison we're in has been created by us, and the key to unluck this prison is within us as well.

Just a little while ago I had a conversation with a 52 year old single man told me that while he is looking for the love of his life, all his married buddies don't want to go home to their wives. They feel like their homes have become their prisons. We had an interesting discussion about marriage, home life, being devoted and dedicated to another person and putting that ring on the finger. What does it all mean?

Having been married myself for 15 years and now having been single for nearly 5 years, I understand the "dilemma" of finding "the one and only" and I too think about whether or not I ever want to get married again. After a disussion with a good friend we came to the conclusion that married people go home because they "have to." Single people go home because they "want to." I'm grossly generalizing, of course, but perhaps you understand.

The way I see it for me is that I first need to realize, see, and admit that I am living in a self created prison. I created it, I can also create the key to get out of it. "Out there" is freedom and yet paradoxically "out there" really means "in here." Only when I am free within can I be free without and can I attract my other (also free) Twin Soul. And together we can live a life free from burdens and "shoulds" and "should nots" and enjoy the freedom and peace that comes from "letting be" and complete detachment.

Much love for 2009!

Women and Trees and the Wind

And my quest for my Twin Soul continues, and so do the lessons. I had mentioned that one of my requests to the Universe is the gift of detachment, of letting go and giving up control. It's a tall order and a powerful request and already I am being given opportunities to practice detachment (perhaps more than I bargained for).

Today I talked to a friend and out came the words: "I've let go of the outcome and am just moving on and forward with my life." I am realizing that I think and say these words more than I ever have, and it's because detachment from things and people, even life itself, is very dear to my heart. Above all I want peace and freedom. Most might ask what the heck is wrong with me wanting to let go of life and people and circumstances. The truth is that our bodies and this life doesn't really exist on the same plane as does our light source from which we came from and to which we are returning to. In other words, this life and everything you see is an illusion serving the great divine purpose for us to get reunited at the mountain top. I want to get to that mountain top rather than lingering here in the jungle, walking this evolutionary journey as a non-conscious individual being. I'm part of the whole, a fragment of you, if you will.

Giving up control to any outcome is a scary thing because after all, it's kind of what we're all about on this worldly plane. We start companies to have success, not to "let go of the outcome." We start relationships so we can "hold on" to the partnership. We exercise so we can be healthy, not so we can let go of health. It's a tricky thing to explain what I mean by "detachment." But I shall give it a try nonetheless.

A tree is feminine, with roots deep and wide into the soil, holding her down, letting her stand straight and firm. The wind is male, and comes to ruffle her leaves on a daily basis. Sometimes harder than other times. We've never seen a tree's branches reach out and trying to grab on to the wind, kind of like saying: "You stay here, I'm not gonna let you go!" It doesn't work this way in nature. Feminine and masculine work together in unison and synchronicity, and exclusive trust that can only be described as divine. Yet in relationships and life in general, we refuse to "let go" of the order of things, we want to hold back people because we want them in our lives.

The clearest example is that of funerals. Most people cry because they have lost a person. In there lies the key, THEY have lost the person. They cry for selfish reasons really. Because most people don't have a clue of where the deceased person is or how that person is "feeling" on the other plane. In other words, we have a hard time letting go even of death. We refuse to work with Life and accept life and death as an inseparable team. We love life, we hate death. It's when we get to love both the same that we have made major strides to walking a higher evolutionary journey. This also includes letting go of peope who are not meant to be in our lives, as friends, family members or our life partners.

As a woman who wants to learn how to detach myself from the outcome of finding and reuniting with my Twin Soul I have to look to Nature to finding the examples there. I certainly can't look in any magazine to tell me how I should be as a woman, I would miserably fail. Nature has something down that we as humans seem to screw up because we interfere too much with our egos, rather than living from within. With our male and analytical brain we overrule the deep and mysterious, only to find that we become jagged and hard and stubborn. As a woman, however, I am dedicated to being "all woman" through and through. And it's one of the easiest and also one of the hardest things I've ever done.

I am not physically attached to my Twin Soul like Siamese Twins are, and so I walk as a seeming separate being, seemingly responsible for just myself, working and earning money (masculine side) and walking my evolutionary path dedicated to "going home" to our light source (feminine quality). And yet, energetically speaking I am very much attached and united with my Twin Soul, even though he's not occupying my physical space as of yet. So it's about bridging the gap between now and then, and doing so in the truest sense of my essence, which is feminine.

As a single woman I have a responsibility to my Twin Soul to work on my femininity, not to foster and grow his masculine essence. In doing so I would only keep him farther apart. The question is, how can I as a stand-alone and single woman treasure and increase my feminine essence, the round aspect of my being, and prepare a space for his arrival while still taking care of "his functions" while I living life?

This post may be confusing to some, because it may not make sense to you, and that's okay. It will make sense to my Twin Soul. I am dedicated to working on my feminine essence, on being like a solid tree, letting you ruffle my leaves with your gentle caresses, while standing strong in Mother Earth, and allowing you to fully penetrate my every branch and leaf with your soft massaging attempts to wow me.

I may need more help in the surrendering process than I'd like to admit. So I am putting it out there into the Universe: please forgive me if I take over leadership, if I tell you how to walk your path and how to pave our journey ahead of us. It's not my job, I am fully aware. My job is to BE, your job is to DO. When I fail, know that I long to "just be" and that perhaps I take over your responsibilities because I don't see your actions keeping us safe. I may push and test you unconsciously, to see if you'll break. Because if you falter and crumble and shrivel under my pushing, the world certainly will crush you. Above all I want to BE, just BE, and I can only BE and detach and surrender to you completely, if I know that you will not let us be crushed by the world. So please stand up to me. When I push don't falter but open me up to your love instead. MAKE ME trust you by lovingly opening me to your leadership. The sun and wind are your teachers (and mine) and the moon and trees are mine (and yours). Above all, lead me with actions more than with your words...

Twin Souls and Mirrors

I teach a class to women during which we play a game. They have approximately 10 important items to bid on. Some of these items are things like world peace, finding a steady-paying job, a great wardrobe, enjoying great health for the entire family, unlimited wealth, being in a happy relationship with their beloved, and so on. There are no rules to the game. In other words, they can join forces with other women, they can borrow from the bank, etc. The bidding starts at $5 per item and increases by $5 for each higher bid. They are given a list of all the items they can bid on ahead of time, so they can study each item and allocate what they might want to bid on.

I have taught this class several times (always to women) and it never fails that the winning item is always one and the same: being in a happy relationship with their beloved.

What was different in this last class was that only two women had enough money to pay for the final bidding amount, but all of them wanted this item more than anything. The two women who could pay for the item offered all of the other women to split the final bidding amount, so they each could have a happy relationship with their beloved. It was simply amazing!

I believe that every human being knows intuitively, subconsciously, spiritually, etherically, and whatever else you want to call the unseen realms, that to reunite with this Twin Soul is a most important goal, a calling from within, it's a going-home event that is of utmost importance to each and every one of us.

Of course, in reality it's not the Twin Soul that I am really needing, as much as he serves as my mirror, reflecting back to me the very Self of me, so that I can truly be whole and "go home" and be one with my God Self. And I in turn can do the same for him. We are twins, in the most literal, spiritual sense.

On a website I found this: "It would seem that this desire for oneness must be the foundation upon which all relationships are built. Male-female unions have come into being and have fallen apart for thousands of years. However, if a deep, spiritual union with our Source can be established and maintained, the chances for lasting joy and fulfillment becomes more and more of a possibility. It also seems to make more sense that our relationships should be based upon spiritual principals rather than man made religious dogmas which can bring so much fear and guilt into people's lives.

When we finally " wake up" and begin the journey Home to our Source, no longer needing experiences and feelings at the Earth's level of existence, corresponding twins will reunite once again. Male and female essence will blend into in one form, perfectly balanced, totally spiritual, with unconditional love for themselves and others. From that point forward they will remain as one for eternity as they coalesce with other reunited twins to recreate the soul groups they separated from a long time ago. Ultimately, all of us will reunite as the "original One."

How I long for this reunion! How I long to go home and be at rest, at peace, to surrender and to nestle into my beloved's soul where time and space truly disappear...