When is it appropriate to “let go” someone vs. to “hold on” to someone?
Have you ever felt like someone is your Twin or could be your Twin but there are also things about them that make you wonder?
Have you ever had a situation where you knew the right thing to do but you didn’t do the right thing out of loyalty to that person, or perhaps out of the addiction you have to that person?
You may have spent your childhood with that person or a big part of your adult life, and you can’t imagine them not being there anymore. But the pain you feel because of the choices they make, is almost unbearable. So when do you cut the line, draw the line, shift the line or do whatever you have to with “this line” and send them on their way so you don’t have to compromise your Self anymore?
A few years ago I had let a best friend of 12 years go because what I found out about her was so contradictory to my own beliefs and my own values, that she became the “test” for me to see if I would sell out or not. I struggled with the reality of judging her. I didn't want to judge her for the choices she made, and at the same time I wasn't willing to turn my head away from those parts that would jeopardize my own integrity. I let her go and today, more than 4 years later, I have no regrets about it. In fact, after our parting other people of much higher quality of character started to enter my life and life took a turn for the better for me.
A couple of years later I tried to remember the blessings that came out of me sticking up for what is right and I tried to have a similar talk with a friend and it didn't go over too well. I found myself in a similar boat and I had to make the same decision once again. And it was harder this time, as most tests are, even though it “shouldn’t” be. I struggled to “cut loose” and “let go” but I didn't want to “hold on” to the friendship either – because I overall realized that we had already lost whatever we had to hold on to for dear life.
I have a saying and belief that whatever is mine cannot be taken away from me. So if it’s mine and I let it go, it will come back to me tenfold. If it doesn’t come back it was never mine to begin with. Why is it so hard to break other people’s hearts just so we can stay in integrity with our own karma and life journey?
I did let go and today, more than 2 years later I see how it was the absolutely best thing, once again, for all parties involved. It took me a long time to get over hurting this person's feelings. Hard at first, heart-breaking even, but time is a great healer and new people of even higher integrity started to appear.
A year later I was given the opportunity again, just to test myself one more time, the entire "sifting process" took less than a month. The healing process took less than a day. It's the way lessons work. The first time is hard, the second time is even harder. However, if we put our integrity (or God) at the top of our priority list, suddenly you realize that the third time is easy. And then suddenly you realize that you have a strength about your character that serves as a repellent and new people without integrity won't even come into your energetic field. And better yet, those that do come into your field because they want to change and they're looking to get nourishment from you. Now THAT is the true blessing.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
Follow Your Vision
Christian Larson encourages us to “Follow the vision of the soul. Be true to your ideals no matter what may happen now. Then things will take a turn and the very things you wanted to happen will happen. “
The ideal has a positive drawing power towards the higher, the greater and the superior. Whoever gives his attention constantly to the ideal, therefore, will steadily rise in the scale.
“Take things as they are today and proceed at once to make them better. “ Expect every change to lead you to something better and it will. As your faith is so shall it be. “To be human is not to be weak. To be human is to be all that there is in man, and the greatness that is contained in the whole of man is marvelous indeed.”
Sometimes I find myself wanting to be weak and lowly and sit and dwell, feeling almost sorry for myself. Sulking in the “bad” and letting my energy sit low and dormant. It’s during those times that people who have tended to their self-discipline pick themselves up and say “no more, I’ve had enough of this” – and because of that tactic in spite of them wanting to stay “low” that they succeed. So if you feel weak and like you’re wanting to give up, remember that life comes and goes in cycles with a precise rhythm, don’t give up, keep on going and enjoy every moment of it: the good and the seeming not so good.
The ideal has a positive drawing power towards the higher, the greater and the superior. Whoever gives his attention constantly to the ideal, therefore, will steadily rise in the scale.
“Take things as they are today and proceed at once to make them better. “ Expect every change to lead you to something better and it will. As your faith is so shall it be. “To be human is not to be weak. To be human is to be all that there is in man, and the greatness that is contained in the whole of man is marvelous indeed.”
Sometimes I find myself wanting to be weak and lowly and sit and dwell, feeling almost sorry for myself. Sulking in the “bad” and letting my energy sit low and dormant. It’s during those times that people who have tended to their self-discipline pick themselves up and say “no more, I’ve had enough of this” – and because of that tactic in spite of them wanting to stay “low” that they succeed. So if you feel weak and like you’re wanting to give up, remember that life comes and goes in cycles with a precise rhythm, don’t give up, keep on going and enjoy every moment of it: the good and the seeming not so good.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Gifts of Heaven - Helping our Soldiers
Someone had asked me what I meant by giving "gifts of heaven." We can give someone a material gift or even food and clothing, and it may mean the world to someone. As soon as the food is consumed and the clothing unuseable the gift deteriorates and possibly will be forgotten before long. And did it really have the lasting impact that you wanted to have?
Gifts of heaven are gifts you retrieve from deep within yourself and bring out in a way so the other person will be a changed person for life. We all give gifts of heaven at all times, sometimes knowingly, and many times unknowingly. Perhaps you remember that one thing you heard someone say that resounded in your ears for many years to come. Little did that person know that they would have such an impact on your life, and yet it's because of where you were on your journey that their words were and are still so impactful in your life. Gifts of heaven cannot be bought and no dollar value can be assigned to it. Those are the gifts that we all long for. Gifts such as unconditional love, support, believing in someone no matter what, teaching someone to stand on their own two feet and the like. You have what it takes to give gifts of heaven.
Every day I ask myself if I have given gifts of heaven to somone, be it in form of kindness or even a hug and a smile to a stranger when it was least expected. One of the things dear to my heart is supporting those that have been abandoned or feel abandoned. And whom better to serve than those who are stationed in the Middle East?
Did you know that many do not receive letters and care packages from home?
Did you know that you can send a letter or care package for the cost of regular US postage?
There are two organizations I use to write letters to soldiers. Both are great.
1. http://www.anysoldier.com/WhereToSend
2. http://www.soldiersangels.org
With AnySoldier you can click on the soldier's name and read their requests. With SoldiersAngels you commit to a 3-month term.
There are plenty of ways you can contribute. You can write a letter for the cost of a mere US 1st class stamp and much of your heavenly gifts from within that may help a soldier carry on one more day. Or you can pool a few friends together and ask them each to donate just one item so you can create a care package for them.
Take the time and GIVE of yourself. You may make a difference in another human being's life that may just help them stay alive.
Gifts of heaven are gifts you retrieve from deep within yourself and bring out in a way so the other person will be a changed person for life. We all give gifts of heaven at all times, sometimes knowingly, and many times unknowingly. Perhaps you remember that one thing you heard someone say that resounded in your ears for many years to come. Little did that person know that they would have such an impact on your life, and yet it's because of where you were on your journey that their words were and are still so impactful in your life. Gifts of heaven cannot be bought and no dollar value can be assigned to it. Those are the gifts that we all long for. Gifts such as unconditional love, support, believing in someone no matter what, teaching someone to stand on their own two feet and the like. You have what it takes to give gifts of heaven.
Every day I ask myself if I have given gifts of heaven to somone, be it in form of kindness or even a hug and a smile to a stranger when it was least expected. One of the things dear to my heart is supporting those that have been abandoned or feel abandoned. And whom better to serve than those who are stationed in the Middle East?
Did you know that many do not receive letters and care packages from home?
Did you know that you can send a letter or care package for the cost of regular US postage?
There are two organizations I use to write letters to soldiers. Both are great.
1. http://www.anysoldier.com/WhereToSend
2. http://www.soldiersangels.org
With AnySoldier you can click on the soldier's name and read their requests. With SoldiersAngels you commit to a 3-month term.
There are plenty of ways you can contribute. You can write a letter for the cost of a mere US 1st class stamp and much of your heavenly gifts from within that may help a soldier carry on one more day. Or you can pool a few friends together and ask them each to donate just one item so you can create a care package for them.
Take the time and GIVE of yourself. You may make a difference in another human being's life that may just help them stay alive.
Streams, Brooks, Rivers and Seas
These last few weeks in my “absence” here on my blog have been a tremendous learning experience and I will do my very best to pass on my lessons in the hope and with the intention that you too may learn and grow. It has been a fantastic time to say the least!
Over the past few weeks I have been getting various visions of rivers, creeks, streams, brooks and even waterfalls. At first all I understood and remembered were the scriptures that talk about rivers. My very name, Chaszey, represents the flow of a river, forever finding the path that is her. King Solomon tells us that “All streams flow into the sea, yet the sea is never full. To the place the streams come from, there they return again.” And John tells us that “streams of living water will flow from within” us. And David tells us that “There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells.” The City he’s talking about is of course your innermost being, the little speck of light that you truly are. It is your God-Self. We all know, or at least I hope that you know, that God (or whatever you call the Light Source) is everything, lives in all and is everywhere. It is that light source that is with you always, that shines a light on your path, even if you run from it, hide it or try to squash it.
As I was getting these various visions of these massive rivers that flow with majesty and might and without making a seeming sound, yet the power of these rivers is unshakeable, deep and almost frightening. Most of these types of rivers are wide, deep and they are fairly straight with large and wide bends, compared to the little creeks and streams. I suddenly realized that this is how true love is supposed to be! Little creeks and streams bubble and make their path to eventually merge with one of those big, quiet, calm and yet powerful rivers, which eventually merges with the big sea again (God). So does this mean that we must have many "little" relationships that eventually will help us graduate to be able to hold the quantity of power that a real and lasting relationship can hold?
Creeks and streams are shallow, as can relationships be, although they make a lot of noise, as can superficial relationships. I realized that the rocks in a river bed that create the sounds and the bubbles and the foam on top of the sparkling water rushing in between their obstacles are just like us trying to squeeze people into our lives that perhaps have no business being there in the first place. Imagine yourself standing at the bend of a river with a whistle and a red flag trying to command the river to take a left turn instead of a right turn. It doesn’t quite happen this way. Yet we continue to try to make people into something they are not. We want to direct the path of their river down our path to merge with our big and calm river, but we forget that we have left our river in order to redirect theirs. All streams will eventually lead into a big and calm river and all rivers will run towards the big sea. And eventually the cycle and rhythm starts over again.
So what is my lesson? While I may feel like a single and individual water drop and my ego wants to remain separate and unique, it is only when I willingly let myself merge with the big sea (God) that I have the whole power of the big sea on my side helping me to achieve what I have come to accomplish. It is not for me to remain a separate water drop, weak and alone and facing the drying out by the scorching sun. It also means that it's okay to have relationships, however far you take them is completely up to the two of you. Remember that there is karma, past lives together, memories from thousands of years ago, perhaps even from other galaxies, these memories are reflected in our every DNA as a holographic picture and we must get to a place where we can be free from memories, torture, and attachment so we can find the way home. All relationships will eventually lead to the "big relationship," the one and only. If you believe this, then you will most likely find this person in this life time. If you think this is a bunch of hog wash, then the Universe will accomodate that wish for you as a reality as well. You're the creator of your own experience.
Remember, finding your Twin Soul will give you the reality of only looking back at yourself, you will find your exact mirror image, the person you have been all along: YOU.
In order to find him or her you must be like the god-source or what will be reflecting back at you is just another person with whom you will walk side-by-side with for a while. Be a deep river, be the sea, be god within you, be your Twin Soul.
It is for me to help others guide to find their own river within and to let them take their own path down that stream and not to redirect their path the way I think it should be. Everyone is a brook, a stream, a river, perhaps you’re even as deep and quiet and powerful as the Amazon river – no matter where you are on your journey, know that your path is guiding you only in one direction: in the direction to be merged with the big sea (the light source within you).
Congratulations on living and tapping into that source of unlimited amount of power within you!
Over the past few weeks I have been getting various visions of rivers, creeks, streams, brooks and even waterfalls. At first all I understood and remembered were the scriptures that talk about rivers. My very name, Chaszey, represents the flow of a river, forever finding the path that is her. King Solomon tells us that “All streams flow into the sea, yet the sea is never full. To the place the streams come from, there they return again.” And John tells us that “streams of living water will flow from within” us. And David tells us that “There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells.” The City he’s talking about is of course your innermost being, the little speck of light that you truly are. It is your God-Self. We all know, or at least I hope that you know, that God (or whatever you call the Light Source) is everything, lives in all and is everywhere. It is that light source that is with you always, that shines a light on your path, even if you run from it, hide it or try to squash it.
As I was getting these various visions of these massive rivers that flow with majesty and might and without making a seeming sound, yet the power of these rivers is unshakeable, deep and almost frightening. Most of these types of rivers are wide, deep and they are fairly straight with large and wide bends, compared to the little creeks and streams. I suddenly realized that this is how true love is supposed to be! Little creeks and streams bubble and make their path to eventually merge with one of those big, quiet, calm and yet powerful rivers, which eventually merges with the big sea again (God). So does this mean that we must have many "little" relationships that eventually will help us graduate to be able to hold the quantity of power that a real and lasting relationship can hold?
Creeks and streams are shallow, as can relationships be, although they make a lot of noise, as can superficial relationships. I realized that the rocks in a river bed that create the sounds and the bubbles and the foam on top of the sparkling water rushing in between their obstacles are just like us trying to squeeze people into our lives that perhaps have no business being there in the first place. Imagine yourself standing at the bend of a river with a whistle and a red flag trying to command the river to take a left turn instead of a right turn. It doesn’t quite happen this way. Yet we continue to try to make people into something they are not. We want to direct the path of their river down our path to merge with our big and calm river, but we forget that we have left our river in order to redirect theirs. All streams will eventually lead into a big and calm river and all rivers will run towards the big sea. And eventually the cycle and rhythm starts over again.
So what is my lesson? While I may feel like a single and individual water drop and my ego wants to remain separate and unique, it is only when I willingly let myself merge with the big sea (God) that I have the whole power of the big sea on my side helping me to achieve what I have come to accomplish. It is not for me to remain a separate water drop, weak and alone and facing the drying out by the scorching sun. It also means that it's okay to have relationships, however far you take them is completely up to the two of you. Remember that there is karma, past lives together, memories from thousands of years ago, perhaps even from other galaxies, these memories are reflected in our every DNA as a holographic picture and we must get to a place where we can be free from memories, torture, and attachment so we can find the way home. All relationships will eventually lead to the "big relationship," the one and only. If you believe this, then you will most likely find this person in this life time. If you think this is a bunch of hog wash, then the Universe will accomodate that wish for you as a reality as well. You're the creator of your own experience.
Remember, finding your Twin Soul will give you the reality of only looking back at yourself, you will find your exact mirror image, the person you have been all along: YOU.
In order to find him or her you must be like the god-source or what will be reflecting back at you is just another person with whom you will walk side-by-side with for a while. Be a deep river, be the sea, be god within you, be your Twin Soul.
It is for me to help others guide to find their own river within and to let them take their own path down that stream and not to redirect their path the way I think it should be. Everyone is a brook, a stream, a river, perhaps you’re even as deep and quiet and powerful as the Amazon river – no matter where you are on your journey, know that your path is guiding you only in one direction: in the direction to be merged with the big sea (the light source within you).
Congratulations on living and tapping into that source of unlimited amount of power within you!
More Viruses
I apologize once again for the delay in being here. My computer went back to the doctor for more virus removals. Interesting how my life can come to a full halt without the technology of a great computer. I took the chance to be outside and hike the hills of Marin. The past few days have been so incredibly gorgeous that I seemingly had no choice but seek out the local hills, mountains and water. I often hiked for 2+ hours, steep grades, with no one in sight for the entire hike. What a blessed time alone it was. Alone meaning no humans in sight... Stay tuned.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Relationships and their Impact on our Society
Marriage, divorce and relationships in general have a huge impact on our health and overall well-being. Just this week our county suffered a tragic loss to suicide. A 25 year old young woman who shot herself to death because her boyfriend broke up with her. If you've never "been that low" I hope you can reserve judgment for people who do go to the edge where pain seems too overbearing. The woman was not only beautiful, she was successful, had a great job with lots of promises ahead - yet nothing seemed to heal her heart from her break-up with her boyfriend. Suicide seemed like her only way out. As a suicide prevention counselor I see the complaint about loneliness all too many times, and most never call the hotline to get help. It doesn't have to be this way. Yet this is the reality for so many.
The bible says: "Let no man separate what God has joined together." (Please note that I am not religious and do not belong to any religious groups or churches.) If the word "joined" would have been translated accurately from the Hebrew, the word would actually have been "welded." Welding two people together, or anything that is welded together for that reason, cannot be ripped apart without damage to both parts. Any welder knows this, any jewelry maker knows this. Yet as people we rip apart our own marriages all day long.
But what if we forgot to pay attention to the middle part of the sentence? "Let now man separate WHAT GOD has welded together." What if your marriage wasn't welded together by God at all? What if it's us humans getting infatuation confused with unconditional and true love, which causes us to squeeze a square peg into a round hole? Can we truly say then that God put the marriage together? Some of you may say: "Well, we are all gods, God acts through us, therefore, we are gods of our own lives." Yes, that is very well true - we are also told that "The Heart is deceitful above all things." Knowing that full well, I also know that now looking back, my "red flags" came along right with the feelings of love, of wanting to truly make it work, of wanting to be "at home" with this person for the rest of our lives: "Until Death Do Us Part." I shrugged the red flags under the rug and only looked at the good feelings and intentions, hoping the red flags would disappear over time, or be transformed over time. Ah, I was notorious for HOPING that he'll change, or that IT will change. And it never does, does it Ladies...
And now in hindsight, almost 4 years later, I have learned this wisdom. God never welded together our marriage at all. THAT was the thing we tried to do for almost 15 years, we tried to weld and mold and join and weld some more. But it would never stick long enough. It was exhausting to say the least. And our marriage never welded, never joined, we never succeeded at squeezing the square peg into a round hole...Let’s look at some statistics (Source for all statistics: http://www.divorcereforum.org/):
The bible says: "Let no man separate what God has joined together." (Please note that I am not religious and do not belong to any religious groups or churches.) If the word "joined" would have been translated accurately from the Hebrew, the word would actually have been "welded." Welding two people together, or anything that is welded together for that reason, cannot be ripped apart without damage to both parts. Any welder knows this, any jewelry maker knows this. Yet as people we rip apart our own marriages all day long.
But what if we forgot to pay attention to the middle part of the sentence? "Let now man separate WHAT GOD has welded together." What if your marriage wasn't welded together by God at all? What if it's us humans getting infatuation confused with unconditional and true love, which causes us to squeeze a square peg into a round hole? Can we truly say then that God put the marriage together? Some of you may say: "Well, we are all gods, God acts through us, therefore, we are gods of our own lives." Yes, that is very well true - we are also told that "The Heart is deceitful above all things." Knowing that full well, I also know that now looking back, my "red flags" came along right with the feelings of love, of wanting to truly make it work, of wanting to be "at home" with this person for the rest of our lives: "Until Death Do Us Part." I shrugged the red flags under the rug and only looked at the good feelings and intentions, hoping the red flags would disappear over time, or be transformed over time. Ah, I was notorious for HOPING that he'll change, or that IT will change. And it never does, does it Ladies...
And now in hindsight, almost 4 years later, I have learned this wisdom. God never welded together our marriage at all. THAT was the thing we tried to do for almost 15 years, we tried to weld and mold and join and weld some more. But it would never stick long enough. It was exhausting to say the least. And our marriage never welded, never joined, we never succeeded at squeezing the square peg into a round hole...Let’s look at some statistics (Source for all statistics: http://www.divorcereforum.org/):
1. America has the highest divorce rate in the world
2. The number of divorces has quadrupled from 4.3 million in 1970 to 18.3 in 1996
3. Divorces cost Americans $33.3 Billion each year
4. Each divorce costs the government approximately $30,000 in increased food stamps, juvenile delinquencies and increased bankruptcies
5. 75% of all divorces are initiated by women (I heard that 85% of women today don't even want to get married anymore)
6. Divorce counts for a major reason of suicide amongst males
7. There are almost 1 million attempted suicides each year
8. 50% of all children involved never see their fathers again one year after the divorce
9. Children in single family households are twice as likely to develop serious psychiatric illnesses and addictions later in life
10. Approximately 1 million children each year are affected by divorce
11. Fatherless homes account for:
• 63% of youth suicides
• 90% of homeless / runaway children
• 85% of children with behavior problems
• 71% of high school dropouts
• 85% of youth in prison
• 50+ % of teen mothers
• 63% of youth suicides
• 90% of homeless / runaway children
• 85% of children with behavior problems
• 71% of high school dropouts
• 85% of youth in prison
• 50+ % of teen mothers
What does this statistic have to do with chronic illness?
a. I believe that most illness is caused by stress.
b. I believe that most stress in today's world is caused by mismatching ourselves with the wrong people (not only our marriage or love partners, this also includes the families we live with, the friends we choose, the bosses we choose to work for, and the overall environment we set up around ourselves).
b. I believe that most stress in today's world is caused by mismatching ourselves with the wrong people (not only our marriage or love partners, this also includes the families we live with, the friends we choose, the bosses we choose to work for, and the overall environment we set up around ourselves).
WHY DO WE DO THIS TO OURSELVES? And for what?
Do we suffer "in the name of love?" There is not much love there trying to squeeze a square peg into a round hole, hoping for the square peg to one day fit. It'll never fit. Just like Hydrogen and Peroxide will never make water, a wrongly matched couple will never create anything productive and useful for humanity.
Are you asking yourself just about now: "I wonder if I'm with the right partner." Then read between your own lines, because your answer is within that same question...
There is nothing wrong with waiting for the "one and only" - your Twin Soul. On the contrary: bliss and true love await...
Friday, January 2, 2009
How to Be Detached to the Outcome - Poem about Flow
The following poem was written by Rita and Joel McInnis. The title of the poem is called "Flow." The poem happens to describe the meaning of my name, and it happens to be the blueprint by which I want to live my life. Perhaps you'll understand yourself a little better after reading it yourself and I certainly hope you can find some guidance for living a more "detached" life.
Reading this poem helps me especially when I want to "let go" of controlling the speed by which my Twin Soul enters my life. When I'm angry and frustrated that he is not here yet, 100% available to me, then I find comfort in this poem. I hope you do too.
Flow
Be As water is
Without friction
Be As water is
Without friction
Flow around the edges
Of those within your path
Surround within your ever-moving depths
Those who come to rest there –
Enfold them
While never for a moment holding on
Accept whatever distance
Others are moved within your flow
Be with them gently
As far as they allow your strength to take them
And fill with your own being
The remaining space when they are left behind
When dropping down life’s rapids
Froth and bubble into fragments if you must
Knowing that the one of you now many
Will just as many times be one again
And when you’ve gone as far as you can go
Quietly await your next beginning...
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